The Stephen King Marathon – Different Seasons Pt 2 – Apt Pupil

I was listening to this story while in the shower, and when toweling off I hear hubby from the kitchen: “This is a fucked up story.”

And it is. It was the part where Dussander cooks a cat alive in his oven (which really turned my stomach, by the by, thank you King for the detailed description). When I started to tell him what the story was about, he got all excited and said he’d seen the movie as a kid. I had no idea it was a movie, but now I need to watch it because Ian McKellan is Dussander, oh hell yes.

So remember how I was saying Shawshank left me hopeful and content? All that was shattered by this disturbing-as-fuck story. The two main characters (I refuse to call them protagonists) are an old Ex-Nazi and a morbid teenage boy, both of which get off on death and pain to the point where they end up murdering people. 

Of course in typical King fashion he explores the depths of their minds, showing the humanness intermingled with the crazy, which makes it extra hard to swallow because I didn’t want to see the humanness. I didn’t want to sometimes feel badly for them. Though it was short lived, because they’re both so fucking horrible in the end.

I have a feeling that this one would have been Bachman’s book had he not been exposed prior to release.

For the Dark Tower Fans: Nothing glaring, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Walter/Flagg was responsible for the Holocaust. Seems right up his alley.

Fear Factor: Morbid teenaged boy torturing an old man, fantasizing about raping crying women during his sexual encounters, and killing people to chase his nightmares away? Old Nazi war criminal luring bums into his house to kill them, and getting off on roasting animals alive in his oven? Fear Factor indeed.


The Stephen King Marathon – Different Seasons Pt 1 – Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption

Chatty non-supernatural King showcasing the depth of the human condition? Yes please!

I had to split this one up because the four novellas are too much their own tales. With a fitting title because these stories are very different from King’s regulation in the 80s. 

Shawshank in particular is a rarity in his library because it kind of has a happy ending. I mean, the characters have to go through (literal) shit to get there, but knowing that Andy and Red get to live their lives together as free men on the beach makes me happy. Usually at the end of a King story I’m all ‘ohhhhh shit!’ and this time I finished with a smile.

I love how the tale is told from Red’s perspective too, as he’s writing his memoir of Being in prison with Andy. It gives it a chatty opinionated style while still giving the story depth through Red’s descriptive eyes.

And even though I knew how it ended (who doesn’t?) it was still a suspenseful ride for Andy. All tied up with the uplifting message that if you persevere and work hard enough you will be rewarded. Even though most human beings are terrible and will try to stop you at every turn… less uplifting, but let’s take the good over the bad!

For the Dark Tower Fans: Nothing really here from what I could tell.

Fear Factor: The only scary thing here is the terrifying thought that you could have enough bad luck to end up wrongly imprisoned for a crime you didn’t commit. 


Siri is my Storyteller

I talked about not having a lot of time to read novels once my high needs darling was born, and I wasn’t lying. Over the past two years, I’ve managed to squeeze some extra time out of my #momlife but that’s usually spent catching up on housework or sleep. And if I get some downtime because she actually falls into an uninterrupted sleep early enough, I feel like I have to use that time to be productive, so it’s writing or crochet time.

Both of which I love, don’t get me wrong, but it’s fucked up that in our culture most moms don’t feel productive when doing something just for the sake of enjoyment. I legit would feel guilty sitting and reading a book instead of doing something that’s furthering my career or taking care of my family. But that’s a whole other thing.

Anyway, I thought about turning to audiobooks so that I could layer my reading enjoyment over cleaning or driving, of which I do a lot of. But of course those cost money. Then I found out that a little known setting in the accessibility options of my iPhone would speak highlighted sentences. This was a revelation to me.

I was deep into at this point, and it took awhile to get used to Siri’s robotic drawl describing Draco’s chiseled chest and husky voice, let alone sex scenes. I even looked up the infamous My Immortal and giggled over Siri attempting to pronounce everything. 

The next revelation happened after an iOS update that allowed me to swipe from the top of my screen with two fingers and Siri would read what was on the screen, even multiple pages in apps like Kindle, iBooks or Wattpad. I could even pause! This opened up a whole new world of multitasking for me.

My friends and husband think her voice is too ridiculous to pay attention to the story but it really didn’t take me long to get used to it. And now I can devour a novel in two or three days while still getting things done, or during travel time. Which let me tell you, Siri’s monotony is great for lulling a cranky toddler in the backseat to sleep!

I should be telling you to make time for yourself to sit and relax and enjoy a book. But if you’re like me and will completely ignore that advice, know that this is an option to fit reading into your busy life. 


The Stephen King Marathon – The Gunslinger

And we arrive at one of the greatest novels of all time, my friends. The novel that started the actual greatest series of all time. And don’t argue with me, for I am rabid.


I haven’t read this book in a while. I kind of dropped off the face of the planet two years ago upon giving birth to my daughter, and was suddenly thrust into newborn hell. I spent so much time in the dark that I could only read on my phone, and so wasn’t able to pick up a paper book for some time. I started The Gunslinger the day before she was born, and picked it back up off of my dresser two weeks ago.

If you’re like me, and read too many things all the time, you understand how my brain just doesn’t hold onto the details of novels for very long. And regardless of how many times I have read this book, every time is like the first time again. Stephen King, you make me feel like a virgin.

Also, being a parent now, the whole dynamic between Roland and Jake hits totally different places now. Roland’s betrayal is just… ugh. It was so much more heartbreaking for me.

I’d also forgotten how intense the final conversation was between him and the man in black! The whole speculation about how the universe could just be inside of an atom on a blade of grass within another universe, and when the lawn gets mowed our universe starts to distort and fall apart. For us it’s been millennia, but that blade of grass has only been alive for one season. I had Siri reading that part to me while I was driving and I almost had to pull over. It was almost like vertigo, that feeling of being so small and insignificant, and what if our universe did suddenly just get mowed through? It hurts my brain to even begin to think about it.

This is what King does to us, constant readers. And I love him for it.

For the Dark Tower Fans: Seeing as this is a Dark Tower book, this is pretty useless. I could have omitted it, but I didn’t, so ha.

Fear Factor: While this book isn’t overall scary, it does have some bits that chilled me. The oracle, the slow muties, and the whole first bit of Walter’s LET THERE BE LIGHT stuff.


Can we chat for a second about the Dark Tower movie? I really liked it, it was pretty fucking cool. But I had to pretty much pretend that nothing I ever knew about the Dark Tower story existed. I know that this is a sequel as opposed to a retelling, but so much was simplified (which I get, you can only do so much in a movie’s runtime).

Loved: All the little nods to King’s work (especially calling psychic abilities ‘the Shine’, thank you!), Idris Elba, the GUNPLAY LAWD THE GUNPLAY, and Walter being just a total badass sorcerer with Q-like abilities.

Didn’t Love so Much: Did we have to repeat the ‘Face of my father’ speech three times? Definitely lost it’s impact the third time. Seeing it in the trailer gave me chills with it’s awesomeness, but three times was just killed it. Matthew McConaughey was an amazing badass sorcerer fucking shit up all over the place, but he was not Walter to me. He was very close, and he did a great job, but I didn’t buy him as Walter. I was looking for Randall Flagg, and I got Marten. And Jake just happily running off into the sunset with Roland at the end. I guess it means that this time around, Roland isn’t going to choose the tower over everyone he loves? I mean it wouldn’t make sense anyway because in the movie he’s not obsessed with the tower, it’s just kinda there so that Walter has something to destroy to keep the monsters out (because that’s a thing in the movie).

I don’t know. I want there to be more, because I am selfish and I love anything that has anything to do with Stephen King, no matter how loosely adapted. And there were rumours of a Wizard and Glass miniseries that was going to be an accurate adaptation of the whole Susan backstory. Which PLEASE yes. Anyway. This was much longer than a second. <\rant>


The Stephen King Marathon – The Running Man

This is another of the Bachman books, and one that I was crazy excited to reread.
runningman1I remember thinking of the Running Man when I read the Hunger Games for the first time, and upon this reread I wondered if Suzanne Collins was inspired by this book when she came up with the idea. It definitely feels like the Hunger Games could have been an homage to the Running Man.

I read this book in only four sessions, it’s so intense and fast paced. Right from the get go, stuff is happening, and in typical Bachman style, it’s pretty fucked up. Dystopian future, televised game shows that pretty much guarantee death, and an Orwell-esque government. There’s something wonderful about a character living in poverty totally sticking it to the man by playing the man’s game but playing it their own way.

I honestly can’t sing enough praises for this book. It is fucking fantastic. I kind of want to watch the movie now, although I really just don’t understand how they figured Arnold Schwarzenegger was a good fit for Richards. I was picturing somebody more… I don’t know, not Arnold-y.

For The Dark Tower Fans: Nothing really, except for King’s beautiful writing.

Fear Factor: This book isn’t all that scary, unless you start to think about what it would be like if our world ended up like the one in the book. If killing people on live television was a thing, and humanity just ate it all up. It’s really fucked up to think about. That’s what King does as Bachman, though, he really makes the reader examine the human condition, and how deep our depravity can go.


The Stephen King Marathon – Cujo

I apparently had forgotten a lot about this book. I read it originally when I was a teenager, and all I remembered was a woman and her kid trapped in a car with a mean dog outside. There is so much more.


This book is fucking awesome. It had been so long since I’d read it. I look at his newer stuff like Under The Dome, and am so in awe of his ability to make a small town’s inhabitants so interesting. I was amazed to read something from so long ago in which he does the same thing, showing that he was gifted in this skill from the get go. Most of the book takes place in the lives of two couples, each with a child and a massive set of baggage and troubles. It’s so immersive and interesting, even though there doesn’t seem to be a lot going on. And because Cujo gets rabies right at the beginning and it slowly sets in over the course of the story, I found the dread and anticipation just building up in me. It is an intense ride.

I especially love the way that King writes from the point of view of the dog himself. He’s very good at vocalizing how I would imagine the thought process of a dog would be. I really felt the madness setting in, and found myself feeling badly for what Cujo was going through. On the flip side of that, now that I have a child, I was absolutely panicked at the thought of being stuck in a car in the heat of summer trying to protect my kid from a rabid St. Bernard. It was an intense ride.

Aside from the amazing writing and the masterful tale spinning, it wouldn’t be a King novel without some hint at the supernatural. As much as this is a very real story, with actual relationship issues and a normal real world disease on the dog, he manages to inject a little bit of creepy mystical shit. The kid sees a monster in the closet and it turns out that it’s the dog, and the father has dreams that point towards where they are, it’s just that little bit of signature King that ties the book together in a neat little spooky bow.

Love. So classic and awesome.


For the Dark Tower Fans: There wasn’t anything that jumped out at me here, but I did happen to read an article that pointed out that Song of Susannah takes place in Bridgton, Maine, where this book also takes place. So there is that.

Fear Factor: While this book didn’t have me sleeping with one eye open, it was definitely suspenseful. I was invested in the characters at the beginning, but once I got to the part in the car, there was no putting the book down. Heart racing, goosebumps, just wholly in that car with Tad and Donna.


The Stephen King Marathon – Danse Macabre

Ok, so full disclosure. I didn’t finish this book. Aside from the fact that I was in the middle of newborn hell and was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, it just wasn’t holding my attention well enough. It’s non-fiction, and I usually love reading about what Stephen King’s thoughts on writing are, but in my desperate cross-eyed nighttime feeding state I needed something super absorbing. I tried for awhile, but just couldn’t do it. So this post is a placeholder for when I come back to it.

I just needed some good storytelling, because I ate through Cujo and The Running Man within a week and a half. So yeah. I’ll come back to this later.