Well hello there, friends.
I realize that I haven’t posted since May 4th. (May the fourth be with you, belatedly!) This makes me a sad panda, and I don’t have any good excuses. But I’ll make them anyway. ^_^’
Really, it’s one excuse, and the reason it’s not a very good one is because not everyone will really understand.
My husband (husband! Eieieie!) and I quit smoking on the sixth of May. And it’s been quite a process. A process of not being able to focus on anything other than how badly I wanted a smoke. All the time.
The only things that could actually work as a distraction were video games, sleep, and sex. So pretty much all we’ve been doing for the last month and a half is playing Watchdogs and fucking constantly. Married life rocks. :D
At this point, I can say with certainty that the habit has been broken, the routine has been broken, and the NEED has been broken. Now it’s not something on the forefront of my mind all the time, it’s not a physical reaction, it’s more of a passing ‘huh, I kinda want a cigarette’. Comparable to ‘huh, I could go for an ice cream’. And when I do cave and have one, it’s not satisfying, and it’s not delicious. Halfway through I go ‘why am I doing this?’. So, progress, right?
Right. I’m super proud of both of us for coming this far, and though we’ve had a rough go of it, we’re in the home stretch now. :) And thankfully I can actually sit and focus long enough to make sentences! I didn’t realize how much I associated writing with having a cigarette in my hand. I’ve had so many creative things building up in my brain but no way to sit still long enough to get them out.
So I’m back, and ready for action, and now I have more time to do shit because I’m not breaking up my day every hour to smoke.
There are things to look forward to! I finished The Stand, so that blog post will be coming soon. I’m already halfway through The Long Walk too, it’s really addictive and short, so that post won’t be long to come either.
For those of you waiting with bated breath for another Wetlands chapter, we’ll see how that goes. My number one fan of those posts has taken off to Germany for two months, so if he really needs some nasty reading material I’ll hurry on getting back to those.
I’ve decided to work on optimizing Vivid for release on Wattpad. For those of you who haven’t yet discovered the wonder that is Wattpad, go check it out immediately. There is a lot of crap to shuffle through, but there is also a lot of really wonderful work on there, and it’s all free! It’s a great place to network with other writers and get great feedback on a paragraph by paragraph basis. I’m not sure if I’m going to do a complete rewrite or start uploading it the way it is, but either way it will be serialized chapter by chapter, probably once a week. Not sure when it will start yet, but there will be an announcement.
And I’d really like to find some good summer crochet projects. Crocheting hands stay away from cigarettes, but it’s hot as fuck outside and I don’t need any heavy garments. So if anyone has any ideas, shoot them my way!
One last point before I leave you; I said at the beginning of the A to Z Challenge that I would pick the best blog of the month that I found.
Very obviously and with no question it’s Understanding Flutterby, which by far is one of the best blogs I’ve ever read, not just during the A to Z Challenge. It’s a look into the life of a submissive but in a beautiful narrative. It is rare for me to be so touched by blogs, but the honesty of the author and the delivery of the words is just so raw and lovely I can’t get enough of it. Put down everything you’ve ever read on D/s and read this blog instead.
Anywhoo. Love and miss you all!