BulletProof Coffee – Week 1

Hi, ya’ll! So I’ve been on the coffee for 7 days, and have made notes to track my progress. For those of you just joining me, I’ve started a diet/energy thing where I mix organic butter and mct oil into my morning coffee. Yummay!

Also, thanks to Kromask, my pink hair is rejuvenated!

My starter coffee is 12 oz fair trade organic Columbian (medium roast), 2 tbsp organic unsalted butter, and 1 tsp MCT oil. Also you’re now in 24 hour time. Don’t question it.

Day 1

So, apparently the idea with this coffee is that you replace breakfast with it. It gives you healthy fats and energy and trains your body to burn fat right in the morning. Which is great, except that I am one of those people that can’t not eat first thing in the morning. I woke up on day 1 for my open shift at 4:30, groggy, grumpy, and fucking hungry.

So I had one package of peaches and cream oatmeal. Oatmeal is good, the sugar probably wasn’t, but I was going to die, seriously. I knew that I’d need to train myself not to eat first thing, because it took some serious training when I started juicing in the mornings too. But I did ok, usually I eat three of those little oatmeal packages and I only had one, so progress, right?

You are the bane of my existence. Stop being on sale at Zehrs.

I made my coffee at 5:00, or tried to, in this little Hamilton Beach 1-cup blender. It exploded from the steam and I made a mess. Note to self, and everyone else, use a full sized blender.

I nursed my coffee until 6:00. I was super thirsty by 5:30, so was also drinking copious amounts of water in between. My stomach started growling like a motherfucker at 7:00, and I held out until 7:40 where I ate a spinach, egg white and feta cheese wrap. I didn’t vacuum it like I normally would, and it was steadily busy at the cafe, so I picked at it over twenty minutes or so, and my stomach was happy.

Energy wise, I didn’t notice a huge difference in my morning routine. On my open shifts I’m so used to just getting up and getting shit done even though I’m groggy that I didn’t know if I was on autopilot or not. But I worked 5:30 to 17:45 and didn’t eat constantly, and I didn’t feel like I was dying afterwards. I had a latte at 8:30 and drank water for the rest of the day, and felt pretty good. So, it was good.

Day 2

On the second day I didn’t have to open, and woke up at 7:00 after having slept for eleven hours. So nice! I made my coffee at 8:00, this time trying my Tupperware Quick Shake container. It also exploded, but I only lost about an oz of coffee.

I nursed my coffee until 9:00, and drank water until I went into work for 10:30. At this point I have written in my notes ‘HUNGRY!!’, so I guess I was hungry. Ate a spinach, egg white, and feta wrap at 10:50, and felt pretty good.

I had a normal coffee at 11:00, and found myself a little shaky at 13:30. This could have been caffeine, or the fact that I had just been dealing with some super rude customers and was just angry. I had a smoke and felt better.


By 18:00 I was starving to death, but my guy and I went out to my staff party at 19:00 and we ate, and got wasted til about 1:30. I managed to stay awake until 3:00 for the first time all summer. I feel old. ^_^’

Day 3

After the nights festivities, when my alarm clock went off at 9:00, I definitely wanted food and orange juice. So I had a double pack of peaches and cream oatmeal (so fucking good, you guys) and a giant glass of OJ to cure my boozy gut rot. Just to clarify, I don’t get hangovers, I just get cranky if I don’t get enough sleep. And I definitely need eats and vitamin C in the morning. I was also pretty congested (allergy season :P), so it was a grumpy morning.

Since none of my devices seemed useful to make my coffee, I decided to wait until work. Of course, I started at 10:30, and realized I’d forgotten my butter and oil at home. My boyfriend is the sweetest person ever and totally brought them for me, so I made one by 11:45.


I nursed it until 12:45, and noticed a serious spring in my step. I was still congested, but a lot less grumpy and wasn’t dragging my ass.

At 14:00 I was starving, so I ate a Circle of Life energy seed bar (so fucking good, seriously EAT ONE). That night, my guy and I went to our friend’s place upstairs for some innocent board game playing, and ended up drinking until 1:00. This is what happens when I have weekends off!

Day 4

Slept in with no alarm set, which was heaven. We got up around 12:00, and I brought a little container with butter and oil in it to the General Store. I asked Sally to blend it with a large of their FT organic Columbian (medium roast) and she looked at me like I had ten heads. It was awesome.

I was also starving to death, so we all ordered breakfast too. I had a Billy Tom, which is sausage, cheese, and tomato on an everything bagel with gobs of butter. I ate that and nursed my coffee from 13:00-13:30. I don’t know if it was from all of the sleep or the coffee but I was bouncing around by 14:00.

Went to Epiphany with my two girls for birthday dress shopping, and I couldn’t sit still. I was bouncy and go-go-go til 16:30, when I finally mellowed out. Our day had also been pretty busy, and we decided to go out for sushi. I had a Maki dinner of ten pcs of sushi, and three giant tuna sashimi. FUCKIN YUM. I so love Ikiru. Once the rice started to grow in my stomach, I wasn’t feeling so high energy.

Ohhhh fuck now I really want sushi.

We went to the birthday girl’s place to predrink and be merry (and straighten her hair), and then headed out to the bar around 21:30. We stopped at Mac’s for smokes and I bought a banana, because it looked so delicious and I realized that I hadn’t juiced in quite a few days. That banana tasted like I hadn’t had one in years. Great whiskey food.

My guy and I only made it til about midnight before we had to crash. We hadn’t had a three day bender all summer, and we were both just exhausted.

Day 5

I woke up on Sunday at about 11:00, and felt fantastic. I tried making my coffee in my Tupperware Smooth Chopper, and it didn’t explode, but it didn’t get as frothy as I like it. But at least it didn’t explode. I made it at 12:00, and took Izzy for a walk ten minutes later.

We walked for an hour. It was pretty awesome. Listened to tunes, walkin Fergus, drinking my coffee, it was a beautiful day, I felt good. And so energetic that when I got back I cleaned my entire kitchen and floors, and walked to Fraberts to get a bunch of veggies. On the way back I stopped and got an almond milk latte at the General Store.

I had a juice at 15:30 of 3 carrots, 1/4 cucumber, 3 celery, and 1 tbsp flax/chia seeds. I was pumped. Around dinnertime I mellowed out, and my guy and I watched some Dexter for the evening and went to bed at 22:00. I couldn’t sleep, so I had a few cigarettes and trolled Twitter until about 23:30. Then I slept like a baby.

Day 6

I snoozed til 9:00, made my coffee at 9:30, and walked Izzy for a good half hour. I finished my coffee by the time I went to work at 10:30, and had a peppermint tea at 11:00. My stomach got a little growly at 14:00, and I had a roasted chicken, tomato and spinach wrap at 14:20.

I didn’t get my normal ‘afternoon blues’ around 15:00, where I just start to lose my energy. I was raring to go all afternoon, and finished work at 17:30 without feeling bagged. Finished Dexter season 5 (Noooooo! :( :( ) and crashed by 22:00, totally able to sleep this time.

Day 7

Even though I slept well, I did NOT want to get up in the morning. But I got up with my guy at 6:00, and had my coffee by 6:20. I was groggy as fuck, and lazily drank my coffee while trolling Twitter. I finished my coffee at 7:30 and then felt motivated enough to take Izzy for a 40 minute walk, which was nice for both of us. I don’t know if it’s the coffee that’s suddenly motivated me to go for giant ass walks, or what, but it’s nice.

I started work at 10:30 with super high energy, and then had a sandwich at 12:30. My energy completely dropped after that, and I felt like I was dragging my ass. I perked up again in the afternoon, and then my guy and I decided to eat popcorn and chocolate for dinner and watch Cabin In The Woods (YES, YES, YES, SO AWESOME), and then my stomach felt like shit and I passed out at like 21:00.

Topher I love you!!!

Week 1 Thoughts

So I figure since MCT oil is supposed to make you not hungry (the BulletProof guy claims one coffee should keep you going until 14:00, which I find I’m hungry like two hours afterwards), I’m not using enough of it. I started with a teaspoon just to be safe, because the oil can be hard on your stomach. I haven’t had any problems with it thus far, so I think I’m going to increase to two teaspoons this week and see what happens.

Or maybe two coffees of one teaspoon each. Because I’m so sad when it’s gone. It’s so yummy. And I’m going to stay vigilant going for these long walks, and having a vegetable juice later in the day. We shall see what happens.

I guess that means I get another coffee! Yay! I’mma go have a General Store one. I’m off to get dressed. Til next time!


3 thoughts on “BulletProof Coffee – Week 1

  1. Pingback: BulletProof Coffee – Week 4 (Final week!) | Voracious Vividity

  2. This reminds me of some unsolicited advice I once received from a stranger in a cafe (who was elaborating on his cafe-wide pronouncement that you should add coconut oil to your coffee to make it healthier):

    “You would not believe the mental clarity I’ve experienced since switching to an all-fat diet”.

    • Lmfao yeah that’s probably one of the phrases I saw most while researching this. Every time I read it I pictured someone sucking back a coffee and then the camera closes in on their eyes and their pupils flicker the Umbrella Corporation symbol. ^_^’

      Also these people that are completely cutting out carbs are going to feel like shit. You can’t totally cut out anything without averse side effects. The body needs balance.


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