I understand that the title of this post will piss some people off, but you need to hear me out. I have serious problems with the way that people perceive and live feminism these days, and I’m going to explain to you why. I consider myself a feminist, but in different ways than those that are blasted into everyone’s faces these days.
Feminism Isn’t About Equality Anymore
I’ve met so many women in my life that claim to be feminists, but their only arguments are that men are awful, and they get more than us, and we deserve better. This is complete bullshit. Instead of male bashing, women should be promoting that both genders are equally as special.
Some feminists claim that certain jobs that have always been dominated by males should instead be dominated by women. How about everyone gets an equal chance to apply, and the person with the best qualifications gets the job? Hiring a man because he’s a man is sexist, but hiring a woman because she’s a woman is just as sexist. Why are some women so blind to this? These types of feminists are just as, if not more sexist than the men they claim oppress them.
Being A Homemaker Doesn’t Make You Anti-Feminism
I know women who are or were stay at home moms. This is a choice. And honestly, I don’t think it makes a women any less empowered to do so. If you are financially secure and can stay home with your child so that they don’t have to be in daycare or with a babysitter all the time, I think that’s wonderful! Your child won’t be little forever, why wouldn’t you want to spend as much time with them as possible before they head out into the world?
I hate women that shame homemakers. It’s disgusting. When a woman makes a choice to raise her child and take care of the home, she’s making a life choice for herself and for the good of her family. That sounds pretty fucking feminist to me. Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be about? Making decisions for yourself?
On the flip side of that, women who want to work instead of being a homemaker, power to you. Again, you’re making a life decision for yourself, and supporting your family. Great job!
Being A ‘Good Wife’ Or A ‘Good Girlfriend’
Some women get taken advantage of in relationships. They cook, they clean, they do everything their partner wants them to do and never complain even if it’s unfair. This is shitty, and they should stand up for themselves. But you know what also happens? Sometimes men get taken advantage of in the same way. Sometimes it’s the woman being the controlling asshole, and some women claim that being that way is feminist.
No, it’s not, you’re just an asshole. No matter the gender, relationships are about mutual respect. You both need to love and respect each other. And asserting dominance (unless it’s for sexy times!) in a demeaning way is never okay even if you’re a woman. Abuse is abuse.
Here’s an example of a proper dynamic. I like doing dishes. I’m particular, however, about them being rinsed right after use so that there’s no crusty shit on them. My boyfriend hates doing dishes. When we moved in together a month ago, I told him that I would be totally okay with being the one to do the dishes all the time. As long as he rinsed whatever he used.
One month later, and this has totally worked. He rinses his shit, I wash the dishes, we’re both happy and there’s no resentment. Some women would be like ‘OH MY GOD YOU DO HIS DISHES YOU’RE A DISGRACE TO FEMINISTS EVERYWHERE!’. No. I took into consideration his dislike of doing them, and my like of doing them, and we came to an agreement made possible by our mutual respect and good communication. Easy peasy.
And then today, we were both off, so we deemed it a cleaning day. I did the kitchen and bathroom, and he vacuumed and dusted the apartment. Then we went and ate delicious bacon-chili-cheese dogs together, and life is awesome. Neither of us feels oppressed. This is equality.
Maybe We Just Need A New Word
I’d like to coin the word ‘equalism’. The shitty feminists that hate men and want to corrale them into camps and gas them all can keep their word. Officially, from this day forward, I am an Equalist.
Let’s start the Equalist movement. By being good people, and treating everyone like a human being.
Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes!